I have just woken up, and feeling horrible. Sad, angry, tired, guilty etc . All the feelings that eat you up inside and you know are stupid feelings, but i am feeling them anyways. I have taken the HUGE step in seeing my GP as i am only averaging 2-4 hours sleep a night, as I am unable to shut down. My brain is constantly on alert, thinking of Diabetes, HED, fundraising , temperature, insulin and all the other stuff that comes with being a Mum and housewife. Im just exhausted. Now the weather is not SO hot, I am getting worried about winter as our heater in our house has 3 settings, off-hot-hotter. We have had a few bad nights in the last week with Charlotte waking up screaming. I am thinking it might be from overheating. The nights are getting cool and it is hard as I am not sure what to put her in to sleep. Tshirt and shorts is sometimes too cool to sleep in atm yet in jumpsuits she is too hot. She just seems really sensitive to temperature. It is making me so stressed trying to make her comfy. Oh, and she has decided that travelling more than 15 minutes in the car is a no go. We took her to Bathurst last week ( 35 mins away) and she cried alot even though we had the air con on. I think the sun through the window was too much for her ( direct sunlight), yet outside in her paddle pool she is happy. AAARRRR. This sucks. I also took her ot see our GP as I cant get her ear wax to move. Normal stuff isnt working. Charlotte has one ear completly blocked ( so cant hear out of it) and the onther one is not great either.
Emily also has a swimming carnival today. A diabetic mums worst nightmare. Diabetics hypo like crazy with swimming. Her normal teacher is away, her releif teacher seems to have a grip on Diabetes but is consumed with making Emily stand out from the others. I understand why she is putting bright material around Emily’s hat so she can spotted easily, but I ma not sure what making her differant is going to do to her. I am torn between yep.. keep her safe and in view, and let her be like her friends.
Add on top of all this I am missing my son who died and I am one big cry ball about to explode. I just want to stay in bed and waste my day in the internet doing stupid time wasting stuff to give my head a break, but as a Mum of 2 kids with medical issues its not going to happen.
Well its time to get up and get the kids moving for school.
stay cool
