Sunny Reid's Blog

I have just woken up, and feeling horrible. Sad, angry, tired, guilty etc . All the feelings that eat you up inside and you know are stupid feelings, but i am feeling them anyways. I have taken the HUGE step in seeing my GP as i am only averaging 2-4 hours sleep a night, as I am unable to shut down. My brain is constantly on alert, thinking of Diabetes, HED, fundraising , temperature, insulin and all the other stuff that comes with being a Mum and housewife. Im just exhausted. Now the weather is not SO hot, I am getting worried about winter as our heater in our house has 3 settings, off-hot-hotter. We have had a few bad nights in the last week with Charlotte waking up screaming. I am thinking it might be from overheating. The nights are getting cool and it is hard as I am not sure what to put her in to sleep. Tshirt and shorts is sometimes too cool to sleep in atm yet in jumpsuits she is too hot. She just seems really sensitive to temperature. It is making me so stressed trying to make her comfy. Oh, and she has decided that travelling more than 15 minutes in the car is a no go. We took her to Bathurst last week ( 35 mins away) and she cried alot even though we had the air con on. I think the sun through the window was too much for her ( direct sunlight), yet outside in her paddle pool she is happy. AAARRRR. This sucks. I also took her ot see our GP as I cant get her ear wax to move. Normal stuff isnt working. Charlotte has one ear completly blocked ( so cant hear out of it) and the onther one is not great either.

Emily also has a swimming carnival today. A diabetic mums worst nightmare. Diabetics hypo like crazy with swimming. Her normal teacher is away, her releif teacher seems to have a grip on Diabetes but is consumed with making Emily stand out from the others. I understand why she is putting bright material around Emily’s hat so she can spotted easily, but I ma not sure what making her differant is going to do to her. I am torn between yep.. keep her safe and in view, and let her be like her friends.

Add on top of all this I am missing my son who died and I am one big cry ball about to explode. I just want to stay in bed and waste my day in the internet doing stupid time wasting stuff to give my head a break, but as a Mum of 2 kids with medical issues its not going to happen.

Well its time to get up  and get the kids moving for school.

stay cool

Well, the eye drops are not as traumatic for Charlotte as i thought they would be. She is obviously feeling the differance. She does not like it but she doesnt fight as much as i thought she would. 

Emily is even doing ok, though I still didnt get ot bed until 3am this morning…

Can anyone answer this question? Why dont kids sleep in when you have been up all night??? sigh

I am feeling really frustrated about this whole HED and diabetes thing.  i was talking to a friend about it yesterday and didn’t really realise who much it intrudes in our lives. Now  I know it does, as I am constantly doing either one, but to completly sit down and analise it was shocking… below is my normal home day ( no shopping or going out )

7.30am wake up, get kids up, eye drops, BGL

7.30-8am feed kids and get insulin pump checked, and room temp sorted

8.30am kid out the door for school, check Charlottes ears for wax build up

8.50 start car to get air con going

8.55 leave to get dave from work

9.10 home and cleaning and entertaining Charlotte

12am lunch eye drops and put charlotte down for a nap

12.15 whoohoo…coffee time

1pm Charlotte wakes up so more play and room temp control

3pm kids come home

3.15 bgl test, feed kids, get them changed, check bgl records for the day and make adjustments

4pm start dinner ( emily has to eat early to have her stable for bed time

5pm dinner finished

6pm eye drops nad put charlotte to bed

6.15 homework and bsath time

7pm dessert time and clean the kitchen

7.30pm bed time for kids

8pm…cooffeeeeeee

8.30 pm get lunches ready for following day and check bgl and make adjustments if needed

9.30 pm bgl check if needed

10.30 bgl check

11.30 bgl check if needed

repeat last 3 steps hourly if things are not right with diabetes resulting in mostly gettign ot bed by 2am

ANYONE WANNA SWAP

keep cool

sigh

well things went from bad to worse in the last few days….

yesterday Charlotte was diagnosed with Dry eye ( those of you that dont know about ED it is a condition where the teatrs dont produce what they need to to lubricate the eye properly) and so now she is on eye drops 3 times a day…

then today, I woke up excited about the prostpect of a lovely quiet day with no kids as thursdays is meant to be charlottes day care day…. i turned up there and they had not turned on the air co… it was about 27 in the room and Char started gettting upset almost immediatly…. so i brought her home… so much for sleep

also last week one of emily’s school friends was hit by a car and died… how the hell do i help a 9yo greive….well at least her father is letting us change visitation weekends so she can go to the funeral.

i feel another cry coming on